The Rocky Horror Rite Of Church Closure In Leeds

If this sort of things makes you want to say one for the poor parishioners of the Diocese of Leeds, then the full version from Paulinus is available here.

Gathering song: Be Much Afraid [To the tune Be Not afraid]

You can say Mass without vestments
To impress the teenage kids
Just ignore the GIRM
We don’t give a fig
You can fill the nave with dancing girls
and we will understand
But say the Mass in Latin and you’re done.

Refrain

Be much afraid.
We’re going to close your church down.
Say Latin Mass, and you’ll be on the dole.

Interfaith is all the rage
Meditation’s where it’s at
You can make a pagan incantation,
nothing wrong with that.
You can say your prayers with Rastas, Muslims
Jains, and Hindus too
But pray with other Catholics and you’re done

Doctrine is passe
You can make it up yourself
You can pick from Dawkins, Boff, de Mello
- anything off the shelf
You can quote Tissa Balasuriya,
Kung and Schillebeecx
But quote the Holy Father
and you’re stuffed